Just few days back while I was driving on the road of mumbai and stopped on the red signal light. A little girl maybe at the age of 7 yrs, dirty looks , no sleeper and wearing just a loose big t-shirt round neck came near my car in drivers seat and knocked the window. […]
HELPING AND GIVING
Mumbai streets are beggars paradise. And fondly called the city of dreams.It is the largest city in India and the populous city of Maharashtra with an estimated 23 million as of 2016. According to the recent surveys, there are nearly 14,51,000 beggars in india. Comparing to last decade this number has gone up by 1 lakh. In Mumbai alone there are nearly 3,00,000 beggars. Mumbai is popular in entertainment and financial capital. Most people in other cities of India and villagers come to mumbai to find work or find a living. Some people struggling so hard to establish themselves. While many poor people from village came to mumbai were homeless and begging on the roadside.
I usually feel sympathetic towards those poor, homeless, needy people on the roadside. In Mumbai, we can see them anywhere on the roads begging for money. But usually i make it a point that i don’t give them money. I heard a lot of story that most of the beggars are handled by mafia forcing them to beg and then they take all the money. Few years back when i was new in Mumbai , i am really wondering why too many beggars without hands and feet , and a friend told me that the mafia usually cut their hands and feet and let them beg. I cant believed it but I saw in my 2 eyes. I guessed they are doing that because they know that people will sympathize when they see the beggars have no hands and feet. Whatever the reasons of their begging, we knew well that the beggars are really poor people. And it is really wise just to give them foods. When i give foods for the beggars, i usually go to temples and outside the temples just few step away from the main entrance I can find many of them sitting begging or some are roaming around begging from the people passing by . I usually buy foods good for 40 to 50 people and distribute it to them one by one to feed their hungry stomach. I always feel that giving foods to them is really better .But then there are rare situations when i give money to few of the beggars near where i live.I always see those beggars in same place in the roadside and they are real beggars as i often see them sleeping there . I cant help not to stop if i see them on the place i oftenest them. And if i have no foods for them , I just give them few bucks at least.
“The good feeling inside us by helping and giving, affects our beauty with so much energy of happiness we take in and we feel the spirit within. That feeling good, radiates brightly from inside and makes us feel beautiful”
We can see the smile in their face when we give and it make us feel good inside!
HELPING AND GIVING IS A GOOD DIVERSION FOR DEPRESSION
“I wrote this blog also for people who are too depressed and cannot move on in life after a painful past. They are stucked living in their past and don’t know how to be happy again. They don’t know how to start anything in their life inspite of the fact that some of them have money and wealth . By reading this, it will help you try to find your happiness by giving and helping others. Helping and giving will make you feel good inside and happy again and believe me because i was there in your situation few years back after the demise of my husband. “
“Through our willingness to help others we
can learn to be happy rather than depressed.”
― Gerald Jampolsky
After a painful event of loss of someone very dear to us, through break ups, divorce or death is really a horrible feeling of being lost. And we don’t know how to start or move on in our life. We are wasting too much of our time, i would say wasting our life thinking too much about the past that we cannot bring back anymore in our life Is it our fault? Of Course not ! But because our love and too much attachment on the person will not let us easily let them go. We are stucked living in the memories behind which is the only thing they left us. We feel overwhelmed what direction we need to take in our own life after we lost the love of our life. When we planned everything with them before and now when we are left alone we don’t know how to start our life without them.
Many times we tried to move on but when those feeling will strike and we will find ourselves flat and unmotivated to do anything . I have written this based on my own experience and to help others as well to share their feeling through subscribing here to comments and start our discussions .
“Whoever has a bountiful eye will be blessed, for
he shares his bread with the poor.”
― Proverb 22:9
“Whoever is generous to the poor lends to the Lord, and he will repay him for his deed.”
― Proverbs 19:17
BREAK UPS & DIVORCE MAKE US DEPRESS
Splitting up with someone you’ve spent any significant amount of time around can be too painful and confusing. Oftentimes the other party has move on but you still persist your self coz you cannot accept loosing that person but reconciliation is not possible.And how you felt a curdle of sadness, you are too hurt , keep crying , with anger and confused and forget our daily routine as we are stuck in the memories of our loved one. Its hard because it actually shakes up our future.When we are in a relationship, we are committed and planned so many things for our future. We have so much expectation from each other and maybe we want to be with each other till rest of our life with our partner or maybe we want to do something in the future.Everything we are thinking of the future and it did not happened .Everything in the future is about us and ours. But when the relationship suddenly breaks we feel everything shattered in our life. And we are so much affected because all of a sudden our future becomes uncertain.Our mind refuses to accept and we are stucked but we forced to give up something against that we value and treasure so much. If our relationship ends due to break ups or divorce, we need to think that it is not the end of our life. Whoever initiates the break ups means something is not really working in your relationship. It is not about who is good and who is bad but it is just you are not suitable for each other. Relationships end for good reasons. One of you wasn’t happy or getting what you wanted.Everything takes time to heal, and bad relationships are no different. Regardless of what happened to end your relationship, don’t hold a grudge. Everyone makes mistakes, and when emotions are high, people will get hurt. Don’t hate your ex forever and tell everyone that he or she is a bad person. Don’t let your ex have that kind of hold over you anymore. Let those negative feelings go and be thankful for the lessons you have learned instead. Embrace the possibilities of future love and happiness.A breakup means you have time to find yourself again. Spoil yourself: spend an hour in a bubble bath, watch a marathon of your favorite TV show, cook the favorite meal that your ex hated. This is the perfect time to analyze who you were before, who you were with your ex, and who you want to be in the future. You’re single and you’re healing from a separation and it’s all about you! Your relationship may have ended, but you’re not a failure because of that. Everyone has stories of failed relationships, and everyone gets over them. Just remember that you’re an amazing, interesting person. One relationship might not have worked out, but there are many other people out there just waiting to meet you. Get excited by the possibilities!
DEATH OF LOVE ONE MAKE US DEPRESS
It is very difficult to lose a person which is very dear to us and especially a deeplyloved life partner. A very good and loving partners are often our most important source of comfort and support. They are the people who we share our achievements and our happiness. They soothe us and help us solve problem when things are hard and we do the same for them. In other words, life partners take care of each other in a special way.
There are many reasons why it is so difficult to lose a very loving, caring and thoughtful partner. For example, coming home to an empty house, no more phone calls from him , no more messaging, no one there to care anymore. Having a feeling of deep longing for the comforting companionship or the warmth and pleasure of a loved one’s touch, or missing the person so much that it feels like physical pain.And missing how our partner is treating us in a very special way. Some bereaved people believed that they can’t find a pathway forward into what seems like a dark and menacing future without their loved one. Others feel that grieving intensely is the only way to honor the person who died, or the only way to stay connected to that person. When issues like these take hold, acute grief can go on and on with little respite and this is a complicated grief. Unforgettable , It was June 2,2014 the biggest shock of my life when i witnessed in my 2 eyes the last breath of my hubby in my arms. I did the CPR to try reviving him but it didn’t help as his time had come. My whole world came crashing down in when he lost his last breath in front of me. I felt as if all my education in Nursing had gone to waste. If I could not save my own husband? What was the point of i studied 4 yrs Bachelor of Science in Nursing? This is all the blame of all the why’s! When our time has come we cannot extend anymore, not matter what. We rushed him in the hospital very near to our house and but he was no more , breathless. The first 24 hours were a blur of emotion, pain, fear, shock, and denial. In the immediate aftermath of his death, I discovered I had two choices. I could either surrender to what had happened, or instead, choose to fight the reality of it all. Initially, I fought the reality and life was hard. I felt alone, afraid, hurt, angry.Angry of life ,angry of i don’t know ….
I thought ‘Till death do us part?’ Well i wasn’t ready! i wasn’t ready really! I was on denial! I became very selfish to only think , now how i am without you? What will i do without you? We had planned so many things and now you are no more? I don’t have appetite to eat and sleepless nights keep thinking of many things . It is the first stage of grieving i felt that denial . And that denial actually is the one helps us to survive the loss. At that stage, the world becomes meaningless. I felt life for me makes no sense. I was in a state of shock and denial. I was numbed and disconnected to people and even to family. I just wanted to be alone and think and live in my past. I didn’t care about anything .But that denial and shock i realized help us to cope and make survival possible. Denial helps us to pace our feelings of grief. There is a grace in denial. It is nature’s way of letting in only as much as we can handle. As we accept the reality of the loss and start to ask ourselves questions, we are unknowingly beginning the healing process. We are becoming stronger, and the denial is beginning to fade. But as we proceed, all the feelings we were denying begin to surface. The second stage is Anger i felt so angry deep inside , why am i left and abandoned? And this feeling i cannot control .And that anger I know is the indication of the feeling of intensity of love i have for my lost husband. We want our life to return to what it was. We want our loved one to be back. We want to go back in time. We want to do anything not to feel the pain of his loss. We remain in the past, trying to negotiate our way out of the hurt. And we felt so depressed . And at this point the grief entered our lives on a deeper level, deeper than we ever imagined.The loss of a loved one is a very depressing situation, i am telling you as i been there .And depression is a normal and appropriate response. To not experience depression after a loved one dies would be unusual. When a loss fully settles in our soul, the realization that our loved one didn’t get better this time and is not coming back anymore is understandably so depressing. If grief is a process of healing, then depression is one of the many ways and necessary steps along the way.It took years before I recovered from depression.And i feel i m going to be insane. As the difference between sanity and insanity is just one strand of our hair. Remember that there is always in our mind the story , that when a mother loses a child sometimes she became insane .Out of her self she will take a doll and keep carrying with her and singing lullaby? And when we see that situations we only say, ohhh the mother became insane after she lost her child.It is because she cannot bear the pain.She cannot accept the reality that her child is gone forever and will not come back anymore.She was in the stage of denial and unacceptance of the situation and became insane. Even how difficult it is, we need to learn learn to live with it. It is the new norm which we must learn to live. We must learn to live now in a world where our loved one is missing. In resisting this new norm, at first many people want to maintain life as it was before a loved one died.
In time, through slowly and pieces of acceptance, we see and realize that the past is not existing anymore.. It has been forever changed and we must readjust. Finding acceptance may be just having more good days than bad ones. As we begin to live again and start to move on and enjoy our life, we often feel that in doing so, we are betraying our loved one. We can never replace what has been lost, but we can make new connections, new meaningful relationships, new inter-dependencies. Instead of denying our feelings, we need to listen to ourselves; we need to move on, we need to change, we need to grow, we ned to evolve. We need to start to reach out to others and become involved in their lives. We invest in our friendships and in our relationship with ourselves. We need to begin to live again, but we cannot do so until we have given grief its time.
A Bereaved heart will experience different stages but not everyone experienced stages in the same order.It’s already almost 4 yrs now on June 2018 since i lost my husband , only after this years my world started to smooth out a bit from the huge turbulent waves. I knew there was another step. I had to rely entirely on myself for one thing—taking care of me, of myself. Nobody else could do that in the long run. So, each day I began to do something for me. Till, after years had passed by and times still sneak up on me and grip my heart and gut like nothing else can, I breathe and remember to surrender and feel everything I’m feeling. Because one thing I know for sure is that He was a part of my life , and is still a part of my life with all his memories cannot be erased in my mind. Sometimes it’s just a glimpse of something that could have been, which leads to sadness in missing him. But I know that the sadness is simply a reminder that I’m human, alive and needs to be happy. And that reminder is a blessing that I will always cherish.
So i thought about the homeless people on the road, they don’t have money and no food to eat, they don’t have family to take care of them. They are still hoping and wishing that anybody will will be kind enough to just give them money or food to survive for a day. So i started to go on the roadside where those needy people can be found .I usually give foods and water and little money. But those little i gave, i feel so good when they smile back at me to appreciate the little that i gave.The little for us is a big happiness for them.
DEDICATE YOURSELF TO GIVE AND HELP FOR THE LESS FORTUNATE NEEDY PEOPLE
I looked around me, i saw many people who are less desperate with no family even, homeless and don’t have food to eat as well. They rely only to people who will help , who will give them little amount of money and food on the road for survival of the day. When i see those poor people on the roadside i cannot help not to stop and give them some money or food. I intentionally buy water and foods and go to the places where i can find them . When i started giving and helping , I felt happiness deep inside me extending help for the needy people who needs help. Extending a helping hand not only vanishes tears off their face, but also acts as a cure for oneself. As we are trying to move on from the painful past, helping needy people will help us feel good. .A sort of happiness for ourselves as we see a little smile on their face.
We need your constant support to help
Help and give for the needy people will make us feel good. THe smile on their face will make us happy and will make us beautiful inside out.
Do you think they are happy where they are? Living in the dump or in the street? Homeless, no food, no where to go? There are so many poor people around us who needs our help. Will you be kind enough to donate even just little penny from your pocket ? We will feel good if we can give little to feed those poor people on the road. We may not able to help all of them , and we may not able to change their life with our little help but at least we can help to feed their hungry stomach for survival.
Helping by Giving make us feel happy
A 2008 study by Harvard Business School professor Michael Norton and colleagues found that giving money to someone else lifted participants’ happiness more than spending it on themselves (despite participants’prediction that spending on themselves would make them happier). Happiness expert Sonja Lyubomirsky, a professor of psychology at the University of California, Riverside, saw similar results when she asked people to perform five acts of kindness each week for six weeks.
These good feelings are reflected in our biology. In a 2006 study, Jorge Moll and colleagues at the National Institutes of Health found that when people give to charities, it activates regions of the brain associated with pleasure, social connection, and trust, creating a “warm glow” effect. Scientists also believe that altruistic behavior releases endorphins in the brain, producing the
positive feeling known as the “helper’s high.”
“Giving has also been linked to the release of
oxytocin, a hormone (also released during sex and breast feeding) that induces feelings of warmth, euphoria, and connection to others. “
In laboratory studies, Paul Zak, the director of the Center for Neuroeconomics Studies at Claremont Graduate University, has found that a dose of oxytocin will cause people to give more generously and to feel more empathy towards others, with “symptoms” lasting up to two hours. And those people on an “oxytocin high” can potentially jumpstart a “virtuous circle, where one person’s generous behavior triggers another’s,” says Zak. So whether you buy gifts, volunteer your time, or donate money to charity this holiday season, your giving is much more than just a year-end chore. It may help you build stronger social connections and even jumpstart a cascade of generosity through your community. And don’t be surprised if you find yourself benefiting from a big dose of happiness in the process. I used to hear and read that giving makes us happy and alleviate our mental problems:. Certain forms of can result in personal growth. Giving can help you be a good role model to the young people in your life. And most importantly, giving makes the world a better place for us all to live in. If everyone knows how to give ,yes they have done their part , maybe we could all reduce the amount of crime, violence, prejudice, and suffering. When we give, there is that feeling different inside us which is feeling good because we get what researchers call a “helpers high,” or a distinct physical sensation associated with helping. About half of participants in one study report that they feel stronger and more energetic after helping others; many also reported feeling calmer and less depressed, with increased feelings of selfworth. This is probably a literal “high,” similar to a drug-induced high: for example, the act of making a financial donation triggers the reward center in our brains that is responsible for dopamine-mediated euphoria. (For more on the “helper’s high,” check out this essay by James Baraz and Shoshana Alexander, published this month on Greater Good.)
Watch this youtube link video about helping and giving
” The little penny that you can give and donate will feed a hungry stomach.
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